The Man She Can't Forget Read online

  Janet Mullan, the housekeeper, was a diminutive and pretty woman of around sixty, with a wing of silver hair amid surprisingly dominant chestnut curls, and she did indeed turn out to be just as cheerful as Gabriel had said she was. Her twinkling blue eyes lit with pleasure when she greeted them at the impressive Georgian double doors, and she seemed genuinely pleased to see the manor house’s handsome new owner.

  Straight away she demonstrated her thoughtful nature. If there was anything she could do to help Gabriel or his guest feel more at home, she told him eagerly, anything at all, then he shouldn’t hesitate to ask. Would they like some iced tea or a cold drink before they looked around? The news this morning had forecast a ‘scorcher’ of a day.

  Glancing briefly at Lara, Gabriel saw that she was happy to agree with his decision and declined. However, he did request some coffee and biscuits for after they’d finished touring the house.

  After he had requested the key to his late uncle’s study, because he needed to look at some correspondence that had been left for him, it was clear to Lara that her companion was restless, and she had the sense that Gabriel didn’t want to spend any more time at the house than he absolutely had to.

  It was hard to understand when he was now master of this incredible property.

  When Janet Mullan returned with the key he politely thanked her and, touching his hand to Lara’s back, partly exposed by the fitted pink dress she’d impulsively decided to wear that morning, Gabriel led her towards the palatial winding staircase that led to the upper floors.

  After looking round several elegant and beautiful rooms they arrived at the light and perfectly proportioned library. Lara had been wondering if Gabriel would show her the bedroom he’d occupied as a child, in the hope that it would give her a little more insight into the man he had become, but she guessed he would probably prefer to visit it on his own. However, as soon as they entered the library, Lara fell silent in wonder. She couldn’t help it.

  Before her were floor-to-ceiling shelves perfectly arranged with books of every size and volume. More avaricious and ambitious girls might dream of diamonds and sports cars, but she would feel blessed beyond measure should she ever have a room totally dedicated to her books, a room that she could read and relax in—even if it was only small. Gabriel’s library was beyond her wildest dreams, but she honestly felt privileged to see it and to experience its gracious ambience, however briefly.

  Catching what looked to be a rare pleased smile on his handsome face as he noted her pleasure, Lara found herself walking across the gleaming parquet floor to the generous Georgian windows. Glancing out, she saw that the beautifully furnished book-lined room looked out onto a stunning river frontage, with acres of lush meadow stretching further than the eye could see beyond it.

  But she quickly set aside her pleasure at the view when she realised that Gabriel had grown increasingly quiet. Was he unhappy or upset about something? Lara wished she knew specifically what was troubling him. However, what she did know was that she could hardly take her eyes off of him. Even dressed in jeans and a navy blue T-shirt, with a casually open chambray shirt, the man didn’t look remotely out of place against the impressive grandeur of his childhood home. Yes, Gabriel Devenish exuded class, whether he was conscious of it or not.

  Yet the serious, almost solemn expression crossing his strongly delineated features didn’t suggest he was remotely pleased at the fact that, as well as being a rich financier, he was now a seriously wealthy landowner, as well. In fact his preoccupied expression suggested he wished he were anywhere else in the world but here.

  Just what was going through his mind? Was he remembering his uncle, perhaps? Yesterday he’d confessed that their relationship hadn’t been a close one. For a boy whose mother had already abandoned him that must have been cruelly hard. Seeing his home again, was Gabriel perhaps regretting the now lost opportunity to make amends with his uncle and work towards repairing their estranged relationship? If only he would share some of his feelings with her.

  ‘Gabriel?’

  ‘What is it?’

  Turning towards her, he pierced her with a troubled yet forceful stare, as though challenging her to say anything that displeased him. Lara didn’t need to be a trained psychologist to sense that his composure was balanced on a precarious knife-edge. Now definitely wasn’t the time to quiz him about his past.

  ‘From what I’ve seen so far, this is probably my favourite room in the whole house,’ she declared, endeavouring to convey an upbeat cheerful tone. ‘How lucky were you to have had a personal library at your disposal growing up? If I had lived here I know this is where I would have spent most of my time.’

  ‘Of course you would. That’s why you became a librarian, isn’t it? Because you love books?’

  ‘I don’t deny it.’

  ‘Well, sweetheart...’

  To her surprise Gabriel joined her at the window embrasure—but he was still looking troubled, and his compelling blue eyes had darkened like the precursor to a storm.

  ‘Although you might think I was lucky to have a library and such a beautiful house at my disposal, it was anything but a pleasurable or happy experience. In fact most of the time the house felt more like a prison than a home to me. It wasn’t until I went to university and met Sean, and then you and your parents, Lara, that I got a taste of how different my life could have been if I’d had a similarly happy family.’

  Resisting the urge to touch him, even though she badly wanted to, Lara proffered a sympathetic smile instead. ‘I’m sorry that you didn’t experience a happy family life when you grew up—I really am. But I hope you know that my parents and Sean practically thought of you as family. Mum and Dad were equally as pleased for you when you graduated as they were for Sean.’

  ‘And what about you, Lara?’

  Gabriel startled her by reaching out to coil some burnished strands of her silken dark hair round his fingers.

  ‘Did you regard me as practically family, too?’

  Even though her heart slammed hard against her ribs, and her mouth dried uncomfortably, she bravely met his searing intense gaze without glancing away. It was clear that her answer was important to him and it behoved her to tell him the truth, come what may.

  ‘No, Gabriel. I can honestly say that I never thought of you as family.’

  There was a definite hitch of surprise at one corner of his sublimely carved mouth but he maintained his steady, searching glance.

  ‘Well, well...’ His voice lowered meaningfully, and then he freed the strands of hair he’d captured and slid his warm hand beneath her jaw instead. Tipping up her chin to trap her gaze, he said, ‘I have to commend you on your honesty, Lara. So, if not family then what did you think of me as?’

  A sudden attack of nerves seized her. Running her hand down over her dress, Lara sensed it tremble. Gabriel’s nearness and the seductive warmth that emanated from his body made it hard to think straight, never mind string a sentence together.

  ‘I don’t mean that I didn’t regard you highly. Of course I did. You were my brother’s best friend and I—and I thought a lot of you.’

  ‘And how do you think of me now?’

  She supposed the question was inevitable, but it didn’t make it any easier to answer. ‘I’m—I’m still fond of you.’

  ‘Fond?’ His fingers gripped her chin a little tighter. His blue eyes had never looked stormier. ‘That’s got to be the most insipid expression of feeling I’ve ever heard and I can’t say that I like it.’

  Lara shivered. Inside her strapless dress her nipples had tightened almost unbearably against her bra. They were like molten steel buds and they stung as though burned by a flame as she helplessly watched Gabriel’s mouth descend towards hers.

  An instinctive need for self-preservation, along with the need to maintain a modicum of equilibrium before she foun
d herself irretrievably lost, swept over her and she found herself halting his lips’ descent by laying her hand flat against his chest to stop him. It felt like an impenetrable iron wall, and even as Lara halted him her body clamoured feverishly for his touch.

  ‘We shouldn’t— We shouldn’t be doing this, Gabriel,’ she breathed.

  ‘Says who?’ One corner of his devilishly teasing mouth twisted wryly and he caught the hand that was attempting to stop him and lightly threw it away. Then he crushed her against him without the slightest remorse. ‘If it’s what we both want, then who’s to say we should stop?’

  Again Lara made a last-ditch attempt to utilise common sense. But Gabriel’s desire had lit hers like a flame to touch paper and being sensible was the last—the very last—thing her inflamed body wanted to do.

  His hard, honed physique felt incredible, pressed up close to hers, and it was clear he was aroused. But somehow she managed to tell him shakily, ‘What I want is to be your friend, Gabriel...a good friend—not one of the “pretty ladies” with whom you spend the night when you want some company. Our friendship means a lot to me. I wouldn’t want sex to cheapen it.’

  He immediately dropped his hands down by his sides, looking stricken. Then he looked furious. ‘So you would feel cheap if you slept with me, would you? I can’t say that does a hell of a lot for my ego. But perhaps in the fairy-tale world that you inhabit, Lara, you were hoping for some kind of knight in shining armour to bed you?’

  Gabriel swallowed hard, and his fierce expression was disparaging.

  ‘Well, that’s never going to be a role I can play, sweetheart, and if all you want is a friend then I suggest you look elsewhere. It’s not as if you don’t know my history and what a lousy friend I was to your brother. Why would you think I’d behave any differently towards you?’

  It was inexplicable why she was so prone to make him angry, but rather than try to understand it right then Lara preferred to try and get to the root of why he was so furious. In spite of his rejection all those years ago, she honestly didn’t think it was because he disliked her.

  ‘My statement about sex cheapening our relationship came out all wrong, Gabriel....’ She chewed her lip in frustration. ‘I didn’t mean that the act would make me feel cheap—it’s just that it would be a shame to reduce the quality of the long-held regard we have for each other just because we succumb to a desire that might be quickly forgotten and...’ Her face flamed red as she said the next words. ‘And regretted.’

  His answering frown was formidable. ‘So you think I’d be such a lousy lover you’d immediately regret it?’

  Lara could hardly believe how adept she was at saying the wrong thing sometimes. Briefly glancing out of the window and wishing for some kind of mystical inspiration, she couldn’t help sighing. ‘I don’t think that at all. You—you seem determined to misunderstand me.’

  Folding his arms across his chest, Gabriel gave her another long, examining look. The sun streaming in through the window behind him made his chestnut hair glisten like copper and she found herself transfixed by the sight.

  ‘Then tell me this,’ he said soberly. ‘Do you believe there’s something wrong with succumbing to desire? Do you think you’ll be somehow punished for giving in to it?’

  ‘I’m not some kind of nun who’s taken holy orders, Gabriel.’ Feeling uncomfortably foolish, Lara flushed.

  ‘Excuse the pun, but thank God for that,’ he commented drolly, making her immediately feel weak again when his mouth curved into one of his devastating smiles.

  ‘Is there anywhere else in the house you’d like to show me?’ she said quickly, moving across to the door and impulsively taking the opportunity to put some distance between them in a bid to try and calm her wildly beating heart.

  With a wry shake of his head he replied, ‘That could easily be misconstrued as a leading question, sweetheart, and to save your very charming pretty blushes I’ll keep the answer for later. Right now I need to go to my uncle’s study and look over some papers. Think you can make your way back downstairs, find Mrs Mullan and ask her to make that coffee for us? Hopefully I won’t be too long.’

  ‘Of course.’ Feeling glad of the temporary reprieve, in order to get her thoughts together, Lara was happy to agree. But then a thought occurred. What if the correspondence his uncle had left for him upset or distressed him? What kind of mood would he be in when he returned downstairs? And would she be able to handle it adequately and give him the support that he might need?

  CHAPTER FIVE

  APPROACHING THE REGENCY-STYLE oak desk in a room that was imbued with the familiar scent of Havana cigars, Gabriel stared down at the cream vellum envelope with his name on it that sat atop the green baize blotter and unconsciously clenched his fists. Recognising the imposing inked script with the letter ‘G’ curled with an exaggerated flourish as his uncle’s hand immediately made him shudder.

  He’d been instructed by his uncle’s solicitor that a letter would be waiting for him back at the house and had been asked to read and digest its contents as soon as possible in order to help make up his mind about the unexpected demand in the codicil.

  Having already had that document meticulously outlined to him by the solicitor, Gabriel was in no mood to read what would in all likelihood be another disagreeable demand. He’d quickly learned that inheriting the manor was not going to be the straightforward formality that he wanted it to be. But at the end of the day he was an astute businessman as well as a banker, and it just wasn’t in him to relinquish the desire to add to his already considerable fortune if the opportunity presented itself, no matter how testing the task would be.

  Having seen the house and its extensive grounds again, he was already certain that he would put it on the market and sell it as quickly as he could before returning to New York. He certainly didn’t want to take up residence here for six months in order to decide what he was going to do with the place, as the codicil stipulated he would have to if he wanted to inherit.

  Had his uncle seriously thought that he would? He was sick and tired of being tied to the unhappy childhood memories that dogged his adult life. The sooner he was rid of the house the better. At any rate, Gabriel knew he could hire the best damn lawyer in the business to help him get round that particular complication. And he personally knew of at least two property developers who would all but rip off his arm to get their hands on the place as soon as they got wind that he was selling it.

  He didn’t feel an ounce of loyalty either to his uncle or to his forebears when it came to making a profit from the sale. After all, what had his esteemed so-called family done for him?

  Feeling impatient, because he’d much rather be spending time with Lara, Gabriel tore open the envelope, unfolded the enclosed letter and hurriedly scanned it.

  His heart was thumping hard in shocked disbelief before he even got to the end of the first paragraph.

  Dear Gabriel

  If you are reading this letter then it must be because I am no longer here. Knowing that must be the case, it behoves me to finally tell you the truth about your mother, Angela. She did not wilfully abandon you, as I once told you. That is the first important thing for you to know. The second is the tragic fact that my beloved sister took her own life.

  She had a serious depressive illness that there was no known cure for, and shortly after you were born it became apparent that she was unable to take care of you by herself. She herself needed round-the-clock care and supervision because her illness drove her sometimes to harm herself and her pregnancy exacerbated the tendency.

  I lived in fear that she would harm you, too, Gabriel, although with hindsight I should have known that she adored you and would have protected you from harm with her life.

  It was a wretched disease that she endured, and I told you that she abandoned you because she begged me to do so should any
thing happen to her. She was convinced it would be better if you believed that rather than knew that she was sick. She feared that you would get it into your mind that you might have inherited the affliction and that it would stop you from having the successful and happy future that she envisaged for you.

  As for your father—I honestly don’t know who he was, Gabriel, because Angela would never say. She did tell me once that she loved him, and that he was good to her, but also that he was married. When she knew that she was carrying you she broke off all contact with the man, and I stopped asking her about him because I could see that it distressed her.

  I have not been as good an adoptive father to you as I should have been, Gabriel. I know that now and I deeply regret it. But my own father was an austere and uncommunicative man who never displayed much emotion and I suppose I must have picked up the traits. Consequently I fooled myself into thinking that if I provided every material asset you would need to help you get on in life that would be enough. But the truth is because of my own emotional inadequacy I denied you the one thing that you perhaps needed the most—love and friendship.

  I will never know if you can find it in your heart to forgive me for the tragic lie that I told you about your mother, Gabriel, but I hope that given time, if you do, then my beloved sister and I will rest in peace.

  Look after the manor house for us, my boy, and fill it with your own dear children. One day the sadness and pain that has hurt us all beyond imagining will, I hope, be banished for good and be replaced with sunshine and laughter instead of heartache.

  I did you another grave disservice, Gabriel. I once told you that money would buy you anything you wanted—even love. I was wrong. I hope you know that now and can find the woman of your dreams to make a life with. Home and family—that’s where true happiness lies.

  Sincerely

  Your uncle, Richard Devenish

  As he finished reading, Gabriel felt numb to his very core. The sensation was quickly replaced by a sense of rage and despair the magnitude of which he had never experienced before.